


breezeblocks

by clownin



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 20:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21063053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownin/pseuds/clownin
Summary: based on the song breezeblocks by alt-j.





	breezeblocks

_She may contain the urge to run away but hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks._

She ran into her apartment slamming the door behind her and locking it. Her fingers glided through her wet hair and combed out knots. Then suddenly the door began to shake and fists pounded into it from the other side. She pressed her weight against the door to stop it from breaking. Her eyes welling up with tears.

_Citrizine, your fevers gripped me, again. Never kisses all you ever send are full stops._

"Please, Arthur stop! Plea-please!" She wailed, praying to God. The pounding continued and turned into ramming. His exertion could be heard from her side. "Why are you doing this? Arthur!" Her eyes widened when she began to hear the door cracking and breaking. "P-please.. just let me in," Arthur whimpered, suddenly stopping.

_Do you know where the wild things go? They go along to take your honey._

Upon hearing him resign, she let him in. Getting swamped in a hug that she tried to escape. "Please, don't go," he mumbled into her neck.

_Break down, let's sleep. Build up breakfast now let's eat. My love, love, love._

They fell asleep on the couch together and woke up separately. He made her breakfast while she played dead. Eyes closed, but conscious. He hummed and danced, while she prayed. She hoped he would burn the apartment down and kill her in the process.

_Muscle to muscle and toe to toe. The fear has gripped me, but here I go. My heart sinks as I jump up. Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut._

"Are you coming to my show tonight?" Arthur asked with his mouth stuffed. She nodded, playing with her food. He seemed dissatisfied and asked, again. "Yes. Yes, I'm going," she replied, grimacing. He grinned like a toddler.

_Do you know where the wild things go? They go along to take your honey. Break down, let's sleep. Build up breakfast now let's eat. My love, love, love._

"I'll see you tonight then?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Will you clap for me?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

She hesitated, before quickly saying yes and getting up to get herself a drink.

_She bruises, coughs. She splutters pistol shots._

She swallowed a shot, the burn making her relax. She felt guilt run through her as Arthur said his goodbyes and left. Was she being too harsh? She was supposed to be supportive, not tear him down with indifference. Flashes of the night before quickly justified her actions. Though, she couldn't help feel a little terrible. He was trying his hardest to win a battle he'd been fighting since he was born.

_But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks. She's morphine, queen of my vaccine my love, my love love love._

She held her knees up to her chin and hugged them. Watching as some reporter gave attention to 3 murders that had happened earlier that day. Not long after, she watched Thomas Wayne call people like herself clowns. Insulting a class that wasn't given the same opportunities he had, what a disgrace. A few days passed and she had heard nothing of Arthur, until his mother suffered a stroke. She heard the ambulance and rush across the hall. She opened her door just a peak as Ms. Fleck was rolled out in a gurney. She didn't follow the rush.

_Muscle to muscle and toe to toe. The fear has gripped me, but here I go. My heart sinks as I jump up. Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut._

He swung her door open, scaring her from her comfortable position. Noticing his aura, she began subconsciously backing away. His eyes locked onto hers and she stopped. The unbridled broken rage in them was enough to make her want to cry. "I killed her," He whispered, taking a seat on her couch, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

She swallowed, "Killed who, Arthur?"

"My mom.. and those boys on the subway."

She broke down and cried, right then and there.

_She may contain the urge to runaway, but hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks. Germaline, disinfect the scene, my love, my love, love, love._

She scrubbed hard at her skin, wanting to clean off any touch of his. She knew now that she couldn't fix him. And he wouldn't let go of her. Her kindness mistaken for something else. She rubbed the soap out of her eyes and fell asleep in the tub. 

_But, please don't go, I love you so, my lovely. Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so._

He aimed the gun at Murray's head. It was like he was pointing it at her. He held the camera in his hands, and she felt like it was her head in his hands. The blue arrows and red lips. She wanted her Arthur back, not Joker. He wasn't him.

_Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so. Please break my heart, hey._

He knocked politely on her door and she quickly turned off her tv. The riot entranced her but not enough to support the murders, or anything else really. She stayed quiet, hoping it would turn him off. It only did the opposite.

"Let me in! Please! Please.." he shouted, turning the handle, violently.

"Are you going to hurt me, Arthur?"

He didn't respond.

"Arthur?"

Silence.

"J-joker?"

She heard him sigh.

The waiting game became boring and he started slamming his weight into the old door.

_Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so. Please don't go, please don't go, I love you so, I love you so. Please break my heart._

The noise stopped. His breathing heavy, "I love you."

_Please don't go, I'll eat you whole._

"Please. Leave," she said, exhausted. She simply got more violent responses. Her eyes closed, her breathing slowed.

"_I love you so, I love you so, I love you so_," he slurred.

_Please don't go, I'll eat you whole._

She slumped against the door, a tear rolling down her cheek as she asked, "Who are you?" 

"_I love you so, I love you so, I love you so, I love you so_," he chanted, being interrupted occasionally by fits of laughter.


End file.
